Fox-free and well-lit, the gym provided a nice place to run for the second day in a row today. Thank you, Retro Fitness. Gotta give them credit for innovation and totally awesome throwbacks. The entire gym is designed around an 80’s theme. Every day they play a different 80’s movie in a separate room called the cardio theater. It even has a curtain blocking the entrance. Inside the theater, you’ll find bikes, treadmills and ellipticals. And what was playing today? Mrs. Doubtfire! Ok, for you movie buffs out there, I realize Mrs. Doubtfire was made in 1993 (and yes, I had to look that up), but whatever. I still loved it. You just can’t beat a good run mixed in with some awkward Robin Williams cross-dressing. In other news, after day two on a treadmill, I am noticing that my legs are hurting and my right knee is a little funky. Not sure why. They say treadmills are actually easier and provide more cushion for the joints. Perhaps it’s because I’m running faster than I normally do outside. Or maybe the powerhouse combo of the Flying Nun, James Bond and Euphegenia Doubtfire inspired me to push a little harder today. Ah, and lest we forget about Joey Lawrence’s little brother kickin’ it old school to House of Pain. Good stuff.

Total distance: 2.5 miles
Total time with warm-up: 28:00 minutes

 

 Standard Podcast: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Ok, so there’s joking about the dangers of running in our neighborhood, and then there’s being chased all the way home by the god damn fox. I wish I was kidding. I woke up at 5am, got dressed, opened the door, checked for other signs of wildlife and started my warm-up walk. I believe I was listening to the melodic sounds of one of Tina Turner’s early pieces. It was pitch black out, and the air felt cold for the first time in a few weeks. I barely crested the three-minute mark when I noticed two figures crossing the street in front of me. My eyes focused in on them, and the streetlight revealed they were indeed two foxes. So much for “the sole neighborhood fox” theory. They have multiplied. And there’s no telling how many of them are out there. I immediately stopped walking and froze. Both foxes noticed me, stopped and stared right back. After a few seconds, the first fox continued to cross the street. I took a step forward, figuring the sound of my footsteps would scare the second one into the woods too. But no. I took two steps. And he held his ground. After the third step, he started to walk in my direction. My heart has never beat that fast (well, at 5am anyway). I inched forward again, which only caused him to walk faster in my direction. I wish upon all wishes that I was making this up. Needless to say, completely freaked out and bearing no confidence that I could take down a pack of foxes should there be more lurking in the shadows, I quickly turned around and mustered my best Flo Jo. It took me about one minute to sprint home. The fox followed me for about half a block. I know this because I turned around once. After that one glimpse, though, it was just about survival. I made it home safely, and rabies-free, thank god. And the gym got an unexpected visit after work. At this point, I’m honestly not sure I can make it out there tomorrow morning. Part of me says, don’t let him defeat you, you are a lot bigger than him. But the other part of me is thinking, I aint messin’ with Cujo.

Total distance: 3.2 miles
Total time with warm-up: 37:00 minutes

 

 Ben E. King - Stand By Me: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

When I decided to start training for my first 5K a short four weeks from the date of the race, lots of people warned me that it would be too fast. That I would get injured. And that I should just relax into a running routine, as opposed to shoving myself into the thick of it. Well, I didn’t listen to them. What can I say, I’ve always been independent to the extreme. And, at the end of the day, I did it. Granted, I didn’t do it that well, but I finished without collapsing, which is good. So as I sat here considering my next race, having realized that Baltimore’s Race for the Cure is the same day as our Redskins game, I decided, oh what the hell. Let’s just go for next Sunday instead. Yep, one week from today, I plan to run my second 5K. It will be a special race for me because it benefits a Baltimore-based colon cancer foundation. And it’s in Towson. It will be great. Just as soon as I figure out where Towson is.

 

 Go West - King of Wishful Thinking: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I never thought I’d say that. Until today. When I saw. God, it’s so horrible. Wait for it. A fox. Yep, our neighborhood apparently is patrolled by not only the Howard County Police Department, but also a potentially rabid fox. I mean, really? I live in suburban DC, not the backwoods of Pennsylvania. J warned me of the neighborhood fox a few weeks ago but, to be honest, I kind of didn’t believe him. I also don’t understand how there can only be one fox, as opposed to a male and female, or a family of foxes. Doesn’t it know it needs to reproduce in order to maintain the population? Not that I’m complaining. I’m all about family planning for foxes, trust me. In any case, I spotted him just as I ended my run this morning, as he swaggered through the foggy haze of this unusually humid September day. He was just too cool for school. Little bastard. But yes, I fear him. I really never thought running would present so many dangers. Next on the agenda: research how to shake a god damn fox.

Total distance: 2.0 miles
Total time with warm-up: 23:40 minutes

 

 Jamie Foxx - Blame It: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

The good news is that I’m starting to feel lighter. Even though I’m not running extraordinary distances by any means, my running routine is still a significant increase in activity, and, therefore, I’m probably losing a little weight. The bad news? Well, read this article.

Lack of rack: Why does running make for smaller breasts?

I am not what you would call well-endowed in the breast area. I didn’t get that gene. I’m really not self-conscious about it, although I know I feel more proportional when my bottom half is smaller, which is one reason exercise is so appealing to me. So this news was utterly startling. How can exercise result in me being less proportional again? How can my running goals be so good to me in so many ways, yet fail me here? Ultimately, although I admit it’s totally vain, I fear the loss of boobage. I will do whatever it takes to keep them at their natural, although modest, size. A stronger sports bra. Chest exercises. Illegal drugs. Whatever. I will not idly sit back and wait for my boobs to get smaller. I just don’t have that much to give.

Total distance: 2.0 miles
Total time with warm-up: 23:50 minutes

 

 Dolly Parton - Nine to Five: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Today was a rest day, so I had some extra time to think. And I thought, ok, now what. I did my first 5K and I’ve been pretty steadily running two miles a day since then. Ok, it’s only been about a week, but what can I say, I get bored quickly. And even though I totally lambasted people who live according to goals and the “five-year plan,” I feel I need, well, a plan. So I’ve decided to add another 5K to my resume. The lucky winner was, originally, the Susan G. Komen Race for the Cure in Baltimore on Sunday, October 18. I was about to sign up when I realized we have Redskins tickets for that very day, for a 1pm game. Doh! So, what to do?

 

 Flight of the Conchords - Business Time: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

In search of comfort food last night, I honestly thought the combination of beer and tomato soup was a great idea. Hindsight is 20-20. Apparently, when combined in such quantities, the two cause vomit-like tendencies by mid-sleep. I never actually threw up (thank god), but I’d wager I lost about two hours of quality rest. Oh well. When the alarm went off at 5:00 am, I contemplated ignoring it in order to reclaim 45 minutes or so of sleep. But, I thought, “Tomato-tomato (or, as my Italian friends say, mezza-mezz). I probably won’t feel that much more rested if I stay here, in this cozy warm bed, god damnit.” So I got up, cursed a few more times and braved the cold. It was nice to be back on my regular route, where I know the mileage and can anticipate the hills. But my performance and my overall time was slightly diminished by what I’m now calling the tomato soup incident.

Run time: 5 minute warm-up, 15 minute run
Total distance: 1.7 miles
Total time: 20:00 minutes

 

 Leona Lewis - Better In Time: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

Smokey the Bear once said, “Only you can prevent forest fires.” This past weekend, that simple promotional phrase became an important lesson for me. In a weird way. You see, I declared Friday a non-run day. Friday night I drove to Pennsylvania to visit my family. Saturday I ran in the park back home. And Sunday I ran in my mom’s neighborhood. Sounds like an ok schedule, but both Saturday and Sunday were tough runs. Not because they were physically hard, but more so because I was emotionally just not into it. It all stems back to that Friday morning (cue the flashback music). The night before, I had decided that I needed to burn off some calories, due to the plethora of cupcakes I ate that day. I had every intention of running. But I also struggled with wanting to spend quality time with J before he left on his guy vacation for the weekend. So instead of going with my gut, which said,”Run, you fool,” I stayed in. I don’t exactly regret that extra time, but I also know I went against my soul. I didn’t listen to that inner voice. And if there is anything running is telling me right now, it’s this: “When you run, you rely on yourself and no one else. Only you can decide to get up before dawn. Only you can make it to that finish line.” Running allows you to feel like you’re in control of your own destiny. It’s empowering. It’s my time. A good friend just said, “Every day is a new day.” So tomorrow, I will regain that control.

Saturday:

Run time: 5 minute warm-up, 20 minute run
Total distance: no clue
Total time: 25:00 minutes

Sunday:

Run time: 5 minute warm-up, 20 minute run
Total distance: no clue, but due to the hilliness of my mom’s neighborhood and the fact I had to stop and walk a few times, I’m guessing it was no more than 1.5 miles
Total time: 25:00 minutes

 

 Ritchie Valens - La Bamba: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

I love cupcakes. I get excited every time a new cupcake shop opens in DC. In fact, I went to Hello Cupcake everyday for an entire week once. For lunch. Anyway, I fear the burst of the cupcake bubble and try to do my part to keep local cupcake businesses in the black. This is all background information to explain why today, as I was manning a trade show booth for eight long hours, I managed to eat about, oh, five cupcakes. Granted, they were small. And I also only ate the icing. That makes it ok, right? Because it was just sugar. And maybe butter? Actually, I don’t really know what’s in icing. All I know is I’m feeling very guilty at the moment, and although tomorrow was supposed to be a rest day, I’m thinking it might best to work off the pound of goo that is now churning in my stomach.

Run time: 5 minute warm-up, 20 minute run
Total distance: 2.0 miles
Total time: 25:00 minutes

 

 Jackson 5 - Candy Girl: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download

It seems that everyone I talk to recently has some sort of new method to maintain his or her sanity. Is this what happens when you get older? Like, “When I get stressed, I meditate.” Or, “When I need to relax, I pour a glass of wine.” “When I’m feeling down, I walk until I can’t walk anymore.” And, “When I need to calm my nerves, I pray.” Etcetera. Personally, I’ve tried them all. I’ve experimented with prayer, meditation, cycling, kickboxing, alcohol, drugs, isolation from friends and family, and even some bad relationships. My philosophy has always been, whatever works, works. But, through the years, I’ve learned that some coping methods are clearly healthier than others. Thankfully, my go-to has always been the gym and a good workout. I’ve always used exercise as a mind-clearer, whether that meant time to zone out or really focus on something important. Either way, it’s always been an important element of my life. Granted I’ve never been a “runner,” but, what can I say, it’s working so far. That’s why, when I read this article in the Washington Post yesterday, I was moved and inspired. If you’re thinking about making running part of your lifestyle, I suggest reading it. Even if I don’t become a long-distance runner, or any real runner for that matter, I know that, at least for me, sweat means sanity.

Running for My Life

Run time: 5 minute warm-up, 19 minute run
Total distance: 2.0 miles
Total time: 24:00 minutes

 

 Rob Thomas - Her Diamonds: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download